gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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