the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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