i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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