I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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