I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So. Much. Porn.
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