If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
literally had 100 drinks last night.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
