To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
