I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She's JV to your varsity
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
