My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
