The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
