It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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