Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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