Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
