dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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