Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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