Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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