i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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