WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
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Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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