get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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