College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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