foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
