Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My ass is underappreciated
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
