She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
