you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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