oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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