Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
