24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
