Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
