these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize