so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
