He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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