remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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