so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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