Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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