And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
