So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This is the prime rib incident all over again
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I supernannyed him into submission
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
