just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
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He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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