Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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