The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
