before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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