Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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