What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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