I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
