i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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