you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Found your dick twin last night
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
