Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
home. puking in laundry basket.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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