Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
