Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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