There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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