please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
