Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
