Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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