i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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