hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize