I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
