I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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