It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
