Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
