I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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