Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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