im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
