ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
