her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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