so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize