next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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