census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
